Travelling with tweens and teens: how to plan a trip they want to be on

A teenager dragged along on your itinerary will make sure you know about it. A teenager who picked the street food tour and the football stadium has a stake in the trip going well.

Bring them in early, while there are still real choices. Show two or three destinations or two possible routes and let their vote count. Then give each teen one full day or two half days to plan, with a budget.

• Ask what they want from the trip before you show any options
• Let them research and book one activity themselves
• Accept choices you find dull: a sneaker shop, a film location, a specific cafe
• Share the booking details and the map with them so they can follow the plan
• Agree the two or three things that are yours and not up for debate

Teenagers sleep late and come alive in the evening. You can fight this every day or plan around it. Schedule the one early start that matters, a sunrise hike or a first-entry ticket, tell them the night before, and let the other mornings begin at ten.

Use the early hours yourself. Coffee, a walk, a museum they would have hated.

• One early start for every three or four days at most
• Late breakfast or brunch as the first fixed point
• Main activity late morning to mid-afternoon
• Evenings out: night markets, late museum openings, city lights
• A do-nothing afternoon in the middle of the trip

Hand over a fixed amount for the trip and explain what it covers: snacks, souvenirs, extras they ask for. Then leave them to it. If they spend it all on day two, that is the lesson, and it costs you nothing.

A prepaid or teen debit card set up for foreign spending is easier than cash and lets you both see the balance. Check your bank's fees for use abroad first.

• Agree what you pay for: meals, transport, entry tickets
• Agree what they pay for: extras, shopping, upgrades
• Show them the cost of the trip's big items. Most teens have no idea.
• Many attractions and transport systems have youth or student prices, so bring ID with a date of birth
• Check the age cut-offs: on many airlines and at many sights, a 12 year old pays the adult price

Banning the phone will not work and is not worth trying. The phone is their map, camera, translator and link to friends at home. What you can do is agree when it stays in the pocket.

Set the rules together at home, write them down and apply them to the adults too. A parent answering work emails at dinner loses the argument.

• No phones at meals, for everyone
• Phones away during the one or two booked activities a day
• Free use on transport, in the room and during downtime
• Sort roaming or a local eSIM before departure, with a data limit they know about
• Power bank in their bag. A dead phone is your problem as well as theirs.
• Location sharing on while travelling, agreed openly

A teenager needs some time out of your sight. Start small and build up over the trip: fetching breakfast from the bakery, an hour in a shopping street, taking the metro back to the hotel with a sibling.

How much freedom is right depends on your child, the place and the time of day. You know your teen. Set a clear area, a clear time and a way to reach each other.

• Hotel address and your number saved offline and on paper
• A meeting point and a time, stated out loud
• A check-in message when they arrive and when they leave
• Enough local cash for a taxi back
• A rule about what to do if the phone dies: go back to the last place you were together

Teens will do far more than you expect when the activity is physical, slightly risky or looks good in a photo. They will do far less than you hope when it involves standing and listening.

Plan around doing things. One museum they chose is worth more than three you did.

• Works: surfing lessons, zip lines, via ferrata, kayaking, e-bikes
• Works: food tours, cooking classes, night markets
• Works: stadium tours, film and music locations, street art walks
• Works: viewpoints at sunset and anything with a good photo
• Fails: long coach tours and back-to-back churches
• Fails: activities pitched at little kids, and being treated like one

Feed them often. A hungry fourteen year old behaves the way a hungry four year old does. Keep snacks in the bag and avoid stretching lunch to 3pm because you wanted to finish the museum.

Give them a say in restaurants. Let them find the place for dinner once or twice, within a budget, and go along with it even if it is a burger.

• Accommodation with wifi that works. Check recent reviews.
• A pool, a beach or a gym for the hours between activities
• Supermarket run on day one for breakfast and snacks
• One meal where they order for the table

Common questions

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